Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Love and Respect

I can honestly say that my wife and I have moved from being married and just roommates to being married and engaging in a blessed partnership. Fortunately, or unfortunately, we arrived at this point only after experiencing our share of peaks and valleys (probably more valleys than peaks). After extensive reading and talking and then more talking and reading...and praying, we decided that we wanted to compile some helpful resources that could be incorporated into a group format for married couples (more on that to come).

One of the sources that we are utilizing is Dr. Emerson Eggerichs' book "Love & Respect." Its a really cool book with its length mitigated by its ease to read and humorous stories. As you delve deeper into the book, you will realize that the contents is not rocket science and you will probably either find yourself saying "DUH!!!" or "This nonsense does not work because I have already tried it!!!!" Please be patient. The strength of this book lies in its ability to encourage couples to navigate its pages TOGETHER.

The author divides the book into sections that pertain to the couple, sections that pertain to only the husband, and sections that pertain only to the wife. The author's suggestion (and I agree) is that you and your partner should read everything.
So now that you have had a brief introduction, let me give you a small taste. Dr. Emeson uses the acronym C-O-U-P-L-E to illustrate how a husband can demonstrate love to his wife.

"Your wife will feel loved when you move toward her and let her know that you want to be close with a look touch, or smile."

"She wants to talk about things. She wants to have her problems out in the open for discussion in order to solve them."

"Your wife is vulnerable to you in at least two areas: (1) when you say things such as 'I just don't understand you...I wonder if it's worth it to try?' and (2) when you dishonor her by treating her less than an equal..."
"Without peace in you relationship, she [your wife] doesn't feel close, she doesn't feel you're open, and she certainly does not think that you are understanding."

"A woman always likes to hear her husband exclaim 'You alone are my love'."

"God has made women so that they want to be esteemed, honored, and respected. The way to honor your wife, as well as to honor you covenant with God, is to treasure her."

Take care and God bless