Monday, December 3, 2012

All I want for Christmas is a little peace

Those of you who have been reading my blog the past few years know that I Struggle (the capital 'c' is on purpose) with perfectionism. For me it's a pursuit that is mandated by my personality.

Unfortunately, my pursuit of perfectionism really runs me, rather than the other way around. I keep chasing an image, believing that once I become it, I will be able to rest. What happens once I reach a goal, however, is that a new one pops up. Or I decide what I did previously really wasn't good enough.

It is a destructive cycle that allows me no respite from anxiety or any contentment and in turn takes its toll on me and my family.

So this year, for Advent, I am going to try to at least temper, if not end, my pursuit for perfection. I know that my search for perfection is really a search for acceptance and unconditional love: Two things that God has already offered but I have not completely accepted.

My 'work' this season is to stop searching for outward affirmation which I know will never be enough and accept the love and grace that Jesus dies to give me.

- Chesney Szaniszlo