Monday, February 13, 2012

The Making of a Marraige - part 2

Men and women communicate in such different ways that sometimes it is a miracle we can have a discussion with each other at all. I was amazed to discover that when my husband or son say they are thinking about 'nothing' they really are thinking about 'nothing'! As a woman, I am not quite sure how that is possible - but I am willing to go with it!

Because men and women have such different ways of communicating, the most important thing you can do to help your relationship is to drop your guard and your pride and be willing to meet your partner on their ground. I know this is hard. I know that more often than not we can be resentful of having to be the one to compromise (on the way you discuss issues and on the decisions you make on those same issues) but you have to remember that your spouse probably feels the exact same way. Your husband or wife probably feels like they are the one who always compromises just like you feel you do. You are both probably right! A marriage that works has to have two people who are willing to work together and compromise. Whether you like it or not, marriage is a partnership: That means that you might never get your way 100% least on the big stuff. And that is okay. Being in relationship with a member of the opposite sex is difficult, but it shapes us and refines us. If you are only in relationship with people who say 'yes' to you, you are not going to grow and develop into the person God is helping mold you into being through the spouse he has gifted to you.

When communicating with your spouse be aware of the different ways you communicate with each other. Take his/her emotional and physical needs into consideration when discussing hot button topics. When things get difficult, remind each other that you are a team, not adversaries. Take the time to pray and ask for guidance from God. Most of all, remember that you have chosen to spend your lives together and that you love and want the best for the other before yourself.


As iron sharpens iron,
so one person sharpens another. (Proverbs 27:17 TNIV)