Monday, March 5, 2012

Live Oak Lenten Journey - Tuesday, Post #2

So, God has given me all sorts of ways to practice not being a perfectionist this past week. Not surprising, of course. :) From housework to homework to professional work, I have been reminded this past week, that I am a "cracked pot". I am imperfect, no matter what I do. God has constantly reminded me this week of the thing that I wanted to internalize at the beginning of Lent this year, that He is the only one who is perfect. As created beings, the rest of us can only trust in His grace and redemptive powers as we walk through our broken and imperfect lives.

My father used to tell me, "Chesney, you do the best you can at the time and then you move on." Profound and wise words to a daughter with a need for perfection. It is unfortunate that I didn't believe them sooner.

The idea of "good enough" has always been sort of a joke to me because I've always felt that if I'm not the best, then I'm nothing. Worse, the bar I hold up to be my standard constantly changes. When I reach my 'goal' I re-set the bar so I can never fully accomplish anything and feel good about it. What I am realizing is that because we are human, if we get to the "good enough" level, we are doing exceptionally well. In the bigger picture of God's activity in creation, most of us aren't working even at that level - and I need to be content with that.

I need to fall on my face before God every day and ask Him to help me do His work, not mine. I think if I could do that every day, the peace of having the Holy Spirit with me as I went about my daily work, would change everything: the way I work, the way I interact with my family and people around me, the way I feel about myself, and the way I feel about life in general.

This past week, I have been by playing and re-playing Gungor's "Beautiful Things". The refrain is "You [God] make beautiful things, you make beautiful things out of the dust. You make beautiful things, you make beautiful things out of us."

Today, I truly believe that. And that is good enough for today.

Chesney Szaniszlo

But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that his life may also be revealed in our mortal body. So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you.
-2 Corinthians 4:7-12