Monday, March 19, 2012

Live Oak Lenten Journey - Tuesday, Post #4

So I am taking my perceived 'failures' in stride and doing better at stepping back and taking a more realistic look at my daily life but I can see that fear (the root of my perfectionist tendencies) still has a hold on me.

Today I literally laid myself down before God and asked him to take it from me. I don't think I've ever really wanted to let the fear go before. I know that sounds weird, but even if I am fearful, I still feel like I have some sort of control over my environment - it is a known quantity.

To give up all anxiety and fear means that I am totally letting go and letting God take care of it. And that's not really in my nature - I guess because my nature is sinful. Letting God be in charge goes against my desire to put myself in God's place and be in control.

As I prayed, I told God that I was giving my anxieties and fears to Him - my family, our lives, our futures. I asked that He would give me the strength and courage to face whatever comes - a prayer that I spoke with fear and trembling. Despite this, I trust that God will bring me through whatever comes because He loves and values me infinitely more than I can ever love and value my own family. That fact in itself brings me ease.

Chesney Szaniszlo

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?" - Matthew 6:25-27